She took a handful of sleeping pills on Valentine’s Day

She wanted to have a good night’s sleep

As she had not slept for ages

When taken to hospital in an ambulance

She reassured the nurses

She had no intention to kill herself

When I was called to examine her as a psychiatrist

And I asked her about her state of mind

She said

I do not want to die

But I do not want to live either

I do not want to go backwards

But I cannot go forwards either

I do not want to regress

But I cannot progress either

I do not want to be miserable

But I cannot be happy either

And I feel this way because

I am with a man I do not love

And I cannot have the man I love


February 14, 2004